L I V E with no EXCUSES and L O V E with no REGRETS.

Dad's lil girl

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Kuala Lumpur, muslim, Malaysia
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May 21, 2010

this is what i feel....

come from my true heart..
im writing this and my tear are the witness.

I have been messed up a life, people have not treated me well even when I was a child.
i have no body since Abah wasn't in this world anymore.My sibling is ridiculously not close, especially with me. They don't care to hear anything I have to say especially my brother. I don't feel like I love him and I don't feel like he really love me.
And like with everyone else I know they say they love me but they show no care for me. I could say my BP are low and they wouldn't even say anything about it to me. I never have had anyone to give me advice, nor to comfort me when I cry. In fact my family called me a crybaby all the time. 
When I was sick I prefer to go to see a doc by my own.

honestly, im not a very good girl at all. i make mistake a lot. i hurt Abah's feeling, so do mak's.
i admit my fault and i promise i wanna change my life. im trying and keep trying. but people never see the changed i made. i always cry in the middle of the night, thinking bout my future, my life and myself. 
every single minutes i keep hope that this is only a dream and hopefully when im awake everything is back to normal.
but sadly.......this is real thing happened...!!!

i miss Abah so much.
and i really need him.... 
i miss my friends...
and i need them so much...
i miss en.kekaseh and i really need him right now.

i only can pray to Allah to gimme a strength to face this life alone.